Daily Connotations

Daily Connotations

Entropy Happens.
Join the madness.

You don't have to push the boundaries when you set the standards.

Connotation. 1. a. The configuration of suggestive or associative implications consitiuting the general sense of an abstract espression beyond its literal, explicit sense. b. A secondary meaning suggested by a word in addition to its literal meaning. 3. Logic The total of the attributes constituting the meaning of a term.

Observations, opinions, and ideas, all brought to you by Daily Connotations Company. Who Else?

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Disclaimer: Any opinions contained on this page are those of, well, we don't really know who. Any offense taken to anything present should be directed to Sven, who will file and ignore your comments. Praise or compliments can be directed to either Dr. N, Dr. What, or Dr. Olga. All plagarized material has been tested and deemed satisfactory according to the esteemed code of Lehrer, version 2.3.
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Things We Like

Sven Bjorn Borg: Sven has been with d-con since its humble beginnings, and is responsible for punctuating, finances, guarding the office from rabid dogs and loud noises, and acting as mediator amongst the other members. Dr. Borge is well-known as the world's foremost (and perhaps only) underwater-basket-weaving expert. Sven has recently published no less than 3 books, Klingon Grammar and Vocabulary for humans, Life among the Grapes, and Escher, Bach, Gödel: A gigantic elastic bungalow. In it's copious spare time, the Sven enjoys playing the harpsichord and diagramming sentences. Sven is Chief of Staff and Director of Intelligence in the UPICN,LLC.
Dr. Bob William "The Orange" Lavoisier a.k.a. Dr. Henry Parsons: Dr. N, as we like to call him, is officially the initiator of the Daily Connotations Company, and also holds important Offices in the VVIIPP society of America and The Department of Redundancy Department, which is a place where he holds an important office in the department of redundancy. Henry also spent a good deal of his life studying the behavior of Walruses (Walri?) in the wild, inspired by a long-running correspondence with Mr. J. Lennon, who, in fact, convinced "The Orange" that he was, in fact, a walrus. Dr. Parsons' curriculum vitae is rounded out by his extensive family history (including a brother, Alan), and double Ph.D. honors in Botany and the Study of Scandinavian Languages. Recently, Dr. Henry Parsons was elected president of the UPICN,LLC
The Doctor a.k.a. Dr. What??: Dr. What joins us now as a member of d-Con in very good standing. It is important that the doctor not be confused with his slightly-more-popular brother, Doctor Who, who has carved a niche for himself in the field of time travel. Dr. What never developed the talent for time travel, and has the ability to visit only two distinct temporal locations: The beheading of John the Baptist and that one time when Stanley met Livingstone (or was it Livingstone met Stanley?) Consequently, he spends much of his time knitting (the scarves, natch) on the planet Gallifrey whilst (and at the same time) contemplating Nietzschean philosophies and memorizing much of Immanuel Kant's work, both in the original German.
Dr. Phelealabean: Dr. Phelealabean also uses the alias Dr. Olga Olathe Parsons-Uhlmer. Dr. Parsons-Uhlmer is a sister to Henry and Alan. She has a dual honorary doctorate in Arabian Literature and Language. She also has teaching experience at the University of Rekjavik which was held in a small grass-covered hut. She iswidowed after an incident involving her husband and abandonment which she is not allowed to discuss pending criminal charges. Now that she is alone, she enjoys spending summers with her brother, Henry, in his summer home, The Parsonon.

6.30.2005

Things about Things

1. Game Shows:

Jeopardy rocks my socks off! I usually don't get to watch it, because I'm not near a television when it is on, but it's so INTELLECTUAL. And you know, really, that Alex Trebek could totally beat the pants off of any contestant - "no, bob, the answer is not Richard the Fourth, it is, of course, Richard the Third." Of course.

Wheel of Fortune is just stupid. I think they screen their contestants for three things:
-a certain amount of stupidity regarding the puzzle - it ruins the game if someone gets it every time when there's just a "t" and two "r's" on the board;
-their relationship with someone "wonderful", "marvelous", "fantastic", "sweet", "awesome", or "amazing". If I am ever on the show, god forbid, I will bring my brother with me and I'll totally be like "That's my brother, Rufus. He's kind of a dork. What am I saying? He's a total dork";
-Their ability to scream "big money" multiple times in quick succession.
As if that's not enough, who let Pat Sajak in? And what kind of a name is "Sajak"?????

2. Reality Shows:

Beauty and the Geek - Granted, I've only seen the last fifteen minutes of one episode. Granted, I only watched it because of a sort of ethereal connection between myself and "Chuck". (My father's father's second wife's daughter used to babysit him; or, if you prefer, I go to the school where his father is a professor - see! two!). But I kind of liked it. It didn't seem mean spirited at all, although I'm just about ready to punch "Richard" in the face. He's not a geek. To be a geek, you have to be smart, like Chuck, who is in grad school studying "functional neurology". Mere social ineptitude and immaturity doesn't quite cut it.

The Real Gilligan's Island I don't have to watch any of this one to know that it's the worst idea since maybe the gong show. Stupid stupid stupid

3. Books

Ulysses I'm almost finished! (But actually, that's sad. If only because my next goal is to read a book that is equally lofty, probably The Brothers Karamazov, but one that requires me to put effort into understanding it rather than one I can just read for fun. It's difficult to explain this, but reading Ulysses isn't really like reading, it's more like, well, thinking. (Stream of consciousness and all that)

You Shall Know Our Velocity! by Dave Eggers, is genius because of the exclamation point after the title.

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenence has its moments, but mostly just seems like it's trying too hard to be lofty and philosophical.

4. Food

The best way to dress up a salad is to mix up your own dressing. I like soy sauce, vinegar, and honey, mixed together well, and drizzled over spinach, beet greens, or other "dark" greens. Undiluted it's very very strong - the greens shouldn't be swimming in it (if you can handle it that way, my sympathies to your taste buds). Just enough to add a striking flavor. Nuts, peas, dried or fresh fruit, croutons, and cheese can add nice touches too, but too many extra toppings are just confusing.

Try to keep one jar of salsa and one jar of pizza or spaghetti sauce on hand, along with cheese and soft taco shells and english muffins. You never know when cravings for 0a quesadilla or a little pizza will strike.

--Posted by s. on Thursday, June 30, 2005.

6.28.2005

Happy Birthday to the comedic writer for the Intelligentsia: Mel Brooks

--Posted by Kelly D. Norris on Tuesday, June 28, 2005.

6.23.2005

An excerpt from Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn's The Gulag Archipelago

If I read this to you and did not tell you that it was a Soviet dissident describing what agents of the KGB had done to prisoners in their control, you would most certainly believe that this must have been done by Americans in their prison camps at Guantanamo Bay.

(modified from Senator Durbin's remarks from the 14th of June, idea credited to Professor Stone)

--Posted by s. on Thursday, June 23, 2005.

What in the world is going on?

Take a few minutes, turn on the tv (preferably during the "local news" section, and don't skip the commercials!), watch it for about fifteen minutes, and ask yourself these questions:

How does the person that is talking feel about their voice? How do they use it? Do they think about it before they open their mouth?

Is there music in the background? What kind of music? How does it make you feel?

What cultural allusions do you notice?

Is there anything that is obviously supposed to be funny? Is it?

What phrases are repeated within a news segment or a commercial?
What "earmarks" remain consistent segment to segment?

What colors do you notice? What color of clothes do the people wear? Why? Compare the women and the men? Their clothes, their hair, their eyes. . .

Does anyone have a speech impediment?

Who is responsible for this?

Who thought this would be a good idea?

Why do people watch this?

I am so incredibly confused by the whole setup - and by this point, I have a headache.

Analysis to follow

--Posted by s. on Thursday, June 23, 2005.

6.22.2005

My smaller sister has two fish.
One of them is suicidal.

--Posted by a. on Wednesday, June 22, 2005.

6.21.2005

Today NPR ran a segment on Germany's third culinary lust.
I wonder why it hasn't become as worldly known as the other two.
It is of course white asparagus.

--Posted by a. on Tuesday, June 21, 2005.

6.20.2005

I find this guy's last name pretty funny, considering his position.
Read the whole article to get the full effect. . .heh.
***

--Posted by s. on Monday, June 20, 2005.

6.17.2005

I've noticed that lately we have been lacking on participation.
Is this a moral issue?
We could hold a company camp out.
We could all go to Diseny World(did that last CEO get fired or something. I really thought he was a jerk).
I know, let's visit the Kermlin.
We could get together and write a new computer language.
Did you know Apple is planning to start using Intel in some of their computers?
I think this is a bad move although I don't really have anything against Intel.
Maybe we should advertise this company more?
We could go public (this is all something we should bring up at the next offical meeting).
Is the meeting still set for July 9, 2026? is it still at S's place?
Do you suppose any of us will ever win a Pulitzer?
Do get the feeling I am running out of things to suggest?
Someone should reply to this and tell me why they think all of these suggestions and why it's a bunch of hoo-hock(is that a word?).
Make some suggestions of your own.
Maybe someone has a proof to why the superstring theory has to be right (I don't).
Maybe someone would like to state that the Bohr model of the atom is completely usless (anyone thinking this will of course be dealt with very harshly, I'm a big fan of Bohr)?
I will bring this to a close and say only one last thing...
If life is anything like pineapple, it's difintily canned pineapple.
I've put this off for far too long. I bid you all a very fond farewell. I'm going now, goodbye...

--Posted by a. on Friday, June 17, 2005.

6.16.2005

June sixteenth. . .

I guess that means it's Bloomsday.

I should be in Dublin, celebrating!

--Posted by s. on Thursday, June 16, 2005.

6.14.2005

Here is a story about my dream last night.

I usually do not remember dreams, but I thought this one was interesting, or maybe just weird.

I dreamt that two wasps came along and stung the middle finger on my left hand, right on the joints.

Which isn't so strange in and of itself,

but when I woke up,
I couldn't bend that finger at all!

(Well, I could with my other hand, but it couldn't bend itself.)

It only lasted 10-15 minutes, and has worked fine the rest of the day.

But still. . .

strange.

--Posted by s. on Tuesday, June 14, 2005.

6.13.2005

Happy birthday William Butler Yeats.

He said "The intellect of man is forced to choose perfection of the life or of the work, and if he take the second, must refuse a heavenly mansion raging in the dark."

Thank you GK.

--Posted by Kelly D. Norris on Monday, June 13, 2005.

6.09.2005

Here's to the writer of my favorite country song, Don't Fence Me In.
After all it is his birthday.

--Posted by a. on Thursday, June 09, 2005.

6.03.2005

THE DAILY CONNOTATIONS COMPANY
Company Memo

June 3, 2005
Re: Garrison Keillor at the Iowa State Fair

It has come to the attention of The Daily Connotations Company that our favorite radio broadcaster is coming to the Iowa State Fair with his "Rhubarb Tour" on Sunday, August 14, 2005. Tickets are $18.00 and The Daily Connotations Company will be hosting a car pool SUV to the event. All interested persons are encouraged to contact Dr. Henry Parsons, President and Co-Founder immediately as tickets go on sale June 4, 2005 (tomorrow).

Please use your company identification personnel licensee numeric value card (CIPLNVC) when ordering tickets.

--Posted by Kelly D. Norris on Friday, June 03, 2005.

6.02.2005

Hmm....

Ummm, what if the hokey pokey really IS what its all about?

Who would want a home with buffalo roaming all around it anyway?

If you don't care that Jimmy, how do you say? cracks corn, why are you singing about it?

I would really get a kick out of a church that really broke bread together on their knees.

Rather than putting your hands in the air, wouldn't a much better display of apathy (or indifference) be just not bothering?

Note to Bob Dylan: Two. Now shut up about the roads, already. . .

You are my snushine,
my olny snushine.

You make me hpapy
when syks are gary. . .

You'll never k-noo, dera
How much I l-voo you.

Please don't tkae
my snushine
away.

--Posted by s. on Thursday, June 02, 2005.

6.01.2005

Doesn't anyone have anything to say?
I wish I did....
Deep Throat reveled his identity, isn't that of interest?
That's the only conversation starter I can come up with....

--Posted by a. on Wednesday, June 01, 2005.