Daily Connotations

Daily Connotations

Entropy Happens.
Join the madness.

You don't have to push the boundaries when you set the standards.

Connotation. 1. a. The configuration of suggestive or associative implications consitiuting the general sense of an abstract espression beyond its literal, explicit sense. b. A secondary meaning suggested by a word in addition to its literal meaning. 3. Logic The total of the attributes constituting the meaning of a term.

Observations, opinions, and ideas, all brought to you by Daily Connotations Company. Who Else?

May 2003
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Disclaimer: Any opinions contained on this page are those of, well, we don't really know who. Any offense taken to anything present should be directed to Sven, who will file and ignore your comments. Praise or compliments can be directed to either Dr. N, Dr. What, or Dr. Olga. All plagarized material has been tested and deemed satisfactory according to the esteemed code of Lehrer, version 2.3.
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The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Blog, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of This Blog in That Universe Cannot Be Guaranteed.

Things We Like

Sven Bjorn Borg: Sven has been with d-con since its humble beginnings, and is responsible for punctuating, finances, guarding the office from rabid dogs and loud noises, and acting as mediator amongst the other members. Dr. Borge is well-known as the world's foremost (and perhaps only) underwater-basket-weaving expert. Sven has recently published no less than 3 books, Klingon Grammar and Vocabulary for humans, Life among the Grapes, and Escher, Bach, Gödel: A gigantic elastic bungalow. In it's copious spare time, the Sven enjoys playing the harpsichord and diagramming sentences. Sven is Chief of Staff and Director of Intelligence in the UPICN,LLC.
Dr. Bob William "The Orange" Lavoisier a.k.a. Dr. Henry Parsons: Dr. N, as we like to call him, is officially the initiator of the Daily Connotations Company, and also holds important Offices in the VVIIPP society of America and The Department of Redundancy Department, which is a place where he holds an important office in the department of redundancy. Henry also spent a good deal of his life studying the behavior of Walruses (Walri?) in the wild, inspired by a long-running correspondence with Mr. J. Lennon, who, in fact, convinced "The Orange" that he was, in fact, a walrus. Dr. Parsons' curriculum vitae is rounded out by his extensive family history (including a brother, Alan), and double Ph.D. honors in Botany and the Study of Scandinavian Languages. Recently, Dr. Henry Parsons was elected president of the UPICN,LLC
The Doctor a.k.a. Dr. What??: Dr. What joins us now as a member of d-Con in very good standing. It is important that the doctor not be confused with his slightly-more-popular brother, Doctor Who, who has carved a niche for himself in the field of time travel. Dr. What never developed the talent for time travel, and has the ability to visit only two distinct temporal locations: The beheading of John the Baptist and that one time when Stanley met Livingstone (or was it Livingstone met Stanley?) Consequently, he spends much of his time knitting (the scarves, natch) on the planet Gallifrey whilst (and at the same time) contemplating Nietzschean philosophies and memorizing much of Immanuel Kant's work, both in the original German.
Dr. Phelealabean: Dr. Phelealabean also uses the alias Dr. Olga Olathe Parsons-Uhlmer. Dr. Parsons-Uhlmer is a sister to Henry and Alan. She has a dual honorary doctorate in Arabian Literature and Language. She also has teaching experience at the University of Rekjavik which was held in a small grass-covered hut. She iswidowed after an incident involving her husband and abandonment which she is not allowed to discuss pending criminal charges. Now that she is alone, she enjoys spending summers with her brother, Henry, in his summer home, The Parsonon.

7.31.2003

As a result of my continuing fascination (no, not fetish) for headlines of all sorts and the enjoyment I get out of the quirks and quibbles of online translation, I have combined the two into an (I find, somewhat interesting) activity. The aforementioned game consists of ripping headlines directly off of a more-or-less reputable news source (all right, I used Yahoo! News. Picky, picky), plugging them intoBabelFish, blasting them into German, Italian, Japanese, taking the results and performing the reverse operation, which leads to something roughly in English and provoking anything from a sly smile to bursting out laughter (especially late at night). The process I have named "dubbling". I don't know why.

Some examples
1. "Democrats Slam Lack of Iraqi WMD Finds." dubbled through Spanish becomes "Deficiency of the blow of the democrats of the Iraqian findings of WMD."

2. "Woman Surrenders in Missing Girl Hoax" dubbled through German becomes "Woman distribution in missing Maedchenhoax."

3. "West African Troops Pledged for Liberia." dubbled through French becomes "The Western African troops pawned for Liberia"

4. "Pointy High-Heels Give Vandal Away" dubbled through Italian becomes "Alto-Talloni Pointy Danno The Vandal Via" which is of course just absurd.

5. "Stalin Plotted to Kill John Wayne? " through French is "Did Stalin trace to kill John Wayne?"

6. "New Mexico Says Goodbye to Its Highway to Hell" dubbled through Spanish or German becomes, oddly enough, "New Mexico says good bye to its highway to hell". Note, however, French "New Mexico indicates goodbye to its road with the hell", and Italian " New Mexico says good bye to the relative main road to the hell"

Fascinating.

--Posted by s. on Thursday, July 31, 2003.

7.30.2003

Various things

un) My sister, aged 7, has just learned how to email. It's amusing to read, as she doesn't seem to quite understand it, yet. For example, she zapped a message off to her friend Tiffany telling her to check her email. No else.
deux) While visiting the Meredith Willson Museum in Mason City, IA, I picked up some interesting facts:
The use of the term "trap set" began in the early 20th century, when all sorts of crazy drummers began beating on anything they could find. The tin cans and woodblocks became known as 'contraptions', and when many of them were put together (for ease of playing, it is asserted, or to aid in the annoyance of, well, pretty much everyone) the conglomeration was called a "contraption set", shortened to "trap set", presumably because drummers can't remember words longer than one syllable.
Also, the first song that the Beatles performed on the Ed Sullivan Show was Meredith Willson's Till There Was You, from The Music Man.
trois) Life, on the whole, tends to be like that.

--Posted by s. on Wednesday, July 30, 2003.

7.29.2003

aaaaaacccccccchhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhh
hhhhhhhlllllllllleeeeeeermcccccccareouaaaaaaaaaaaaasoufhg

Just a bit of tension coming out there, folks.

"He's very English. If he goes over the edge, the worst outward sign will probably be that his grammar will deteriorate."
(David Dvorkin)

--Posted by s. on Tuesday, July 29, 2003.

7.28.2003

Well......once again after my long absence I feel disconnected from the group.

Thanks goes to Dr. Sven for her kind and heart-tingling words on the subject of the passing of Bob Hope. We shall miss him and his ranglings will live in the lives of everyone who ever made contact with him. (Moment of silence....no, really)

Now after that I have summarized the thoughts in my head (Warning: Small children, mammals, flying creatures, or anyone party to information pertinent to the creation of Gak beware. The following has been considered by some to be "unrelenting, unmerciful, and above all unhuman"; "scary, demeaning, and just plain weird"; "some people just aren't human"; and "I can't believe it's not butter". Read the disclaimer at the side of the page and take note, the following is quite flammable and will combust under confined circumstances).

1) Compliments to Dr. Sven for the invention of "The Headline Game"
2) School is soon to start in less than 30 days. If at this point you feel uneasy, try some Pepto-Bismol, wait 15 minutes and approach again with much caution.
3) Fire bad--Frankenstein. If at this point you feel queasy, back away slowly, sing "Oh Susanna" and approach with extreme caution. Continue
4) I have noticed that my handwriting could possibly be a cursive interpretation of Icelandic runes.
5) The number one was once commented as being the loneliest number. Why is this? What if the number one has multiple personalities? It could keep itself company with itself. Now think about the number zero. It has no one. If at this point you are questioning my sanity then you are yourself probably just as insane for reading this far.

Thanks for reading and groos-frabbah!

--Dr. Henry Parsons
Certified Speech Judge and Coach
University of the Sacred Llama
Department of Biologically Related Literature
West Corner of the Hartmann Library
39074 Hartmann Library Street
Sacred Llama Village, USA
"Home of the Stampeding Llamas---Champions of Class 6A Division Mathematics and Janitorial Skills Contest 2003"

--Posted by Kelly D. Norris on Monday, July 28, 2003.

But Seriously, Folks!

The first thing I saw when I got on the internet today was the headline that Bob Hope had passed away at 100.

It shook me. But hope cannot be killed. Bob (born Leslie Townes Hope in England) gave the world help and warmth and laughter when it most needed it.

He is remembered as a comic genius, a hard worker, a multi-millionaire. He was knighted by the queen. No less than a legend. But mostly, as a friend. Someone we all know, personally, even if we haven't ever met him.

Thanks for the Memories, Bob.

--Posted by s. on Monday, July 28, 2003.

7.24.2003

Introducing - the Headline Game!

Your mission: determine which, if any, of the following headlines are real, and which I, in my infinite wisdom, have merely concocted. Good luck!

1. Jesse Jackson suspects "unsanitary premises", restaurant sued
2. Naked plastic men give Germans food for thought
3. Flying Underpants Cause Highway Crash
4. Fires sweep through South America, 23 killed
5. Monkeys Invade Tea Estate in Eastern India
6. Coach Sets Sex Timetable for Players
7. It's totally cool to be in Iowa
8. Lawmaker: Questioning of Cartoonist Wrong
9. French man tours America on foot
10. Polar Bear Turns Purple After Medication

The ones I made up, for the record, are all that are numbered with a perfect square. Figure that out yourself.

--Posted by s. on Thursday, July 24, 2003.

7.23.2003

"The weirder you are going to behave, the more normal you should look. . .When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person." - P.J. O'Rourke

--Posted by s. on Wednesday, July 23, 2003.

7.21.2003

Notes:

(after a long dry spell)

eins) Was fortunate enough to see a thoroughly excellent performance of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat - from the middle of the third row, no less. Both the Narrator and Joseph were strong singers AND good actors, a combination that is not necessarily easy to find. We'll forgive - maybe even thank - Joseph for not having long hair and taking his shirt off.

zwei) I spent over an hour in the bookstore at the Old Market in Omaha. Dollar amount will remain undisclosed. Used/rare/hard-to-find books. One of those dark smoky corners of the world with bookcases filled up to the ceiling - a good 20 ft, and books piled all over everywhere. Simply put, a small corner of heaven on earth.

drei) My cousin Samantha is now a certified LPN. Congratulations!

vier) Banzai! The scariest thing ever to come out of Britain from Japan. Sort of a game-show reality type gambling spree - but hysterically funny, the first time.

fünf) Well, that's it. I just wanted an excuse to use an umlaut.

--Posted by s. on Monday, July 21, 2003.

7.12.2003

Did you hear the one about the teacher who was arrested trying to board an airplane with a compass, a protractor, and a calculator?

He was charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

--Posted by s. on Saturday, July 12, 2003.

7.07.2003

Have received word about a recently released documentary regarding the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Bonhoeffer was a German minister during the beginning of WWII, one of the few who actually resisted Hitler. Most of the churches had given in to public opinion and slightly religious sounding ideals rather than clutching to the truth laid out in the Bible. Many of his published materials deal with this trade - cheap grace vs. true discipleship. To him, that meant using what power he had to stop what he believed was evil and to end the persecution of the Jewish people.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer was eventually hanged by the Nazis for his beliefs. His life and death are inspiring, but not by any means in a nice, fluffy, feel-good manner. This is challenging, life-changing, dangerous faith at its most extreme.
As the documentary has only been released in a few selected theatres (the nearest to me is in Minneapolis), I've not had the chance to see it, but am anxiously looking forward to either the DVD or a closer release.
Related links:
Bonhoeffer: The Documentary
Biography
Bibliography

--Posted by s. on Monday, July 07, 2003.

7.04.2003

I found this on a listserve as an off-topic post. However for this day I find it very ON-TOPIC and feel that everyone out there should read it and take it to heart. We live in a society that has commercialized everything and brought a false security to everything. Let freedom ring!

Here it is:

Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed The Declaration of Independence?

Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died.

Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured.

Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War.

They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor.

What kind of men were they?

Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated, but they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.

Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his Ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.

Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.

Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.

At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.

Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.

John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished.

Some of us take these liberties so much for granted, but we shouldn't. So, take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid.

Remember: Freedom is never free!

I hope you will show your support by sending this to as many people as you can, please. It's time we get the word out that patriotism is NOT a sin, and the Fourth of July has more to it than a parade, beer, picnics, and baseball games.

--Posted by Kelly D. Norris on Friday, July 04, 2003.

7.03.2003

Haha, Dr. Sven......I have stumbled on to what I consider to be of infinitismal (to copy S.) humor. Click here to find out. I love it, absolutely love it!

As for the news:

1) Tonight's headline story: I am human. More as details develop.

2) The actors involved in the musical revue to be performed in the BCHS CPA need to ask WWJD in this time of crisis, SOS!

3) A blob washed up on the shores of Chile this week. Scientists speculate it could be something of great value, an octupus or a whale while others still think of it as just a blob. A news anchor for CH-ILY Radio Network claims that it is a hoax carried out by Polynesian fundamentalists.

4) Ice Age cave art has been discovered this week in Great Britain. This brings even more shadow to the centuries asked question "Why is Prince Charles prince?"

5) Oprah's newly relaunched book club has helped outsell a book by former First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton....tear......sob.......okay

6) A man has been sentenced to life in prison for spitting. Just think what it would have been if he had burped.

I'm Dr. Henry Parsons and that's news from the Coke Bottle glasses.......

--Posted by Kelly D. Norris on Thursday, July 03, 2003.

Oh, Dr. X., I feel your recent speech was of absolutely infinitismal value, and I hope you will have it published posthumously - the sooner the better!

or

Words, words, words

One of the beauties of English is that no one knows what's really going on well enough to always avoid mistakes. Therefore, a simple "I speak English good." statement may be regarded as having at least 3 separate meanings - the speaker speaks english correctly, the speaker (obviously) doesn't speak english correctly, or the speaker speaks english correctly usually, but chose this time to make a mistake because, well, it's funny.
Another good thing about English is that with only a slightly larger-than-normal vocabulary, you can say anything you want about anyone and it will go straight over their head. Besides, it's ever so much more to discuss your antipathy towards Pat Buchanan (for example) than your dislike of the same.

--Posted by s. on Thursday, July 03, 2003.

7.01.2003

Welcome back, Dr. N.

--Posted by s. on Tuesday, July 01, 2003.

The one thing we can be reasonably sure of about the limits of Artificial Intelligence is that it will never be a match for natural stupidity.

--Posted by s. on Tuesday, July 01, 2003.